Been a few

So, it has been a few days. Well, I went to another wedding last night. I guess, in truth, I only went to the reception. It was kinda creepy because the whole thing took place at the girl’s family’s funeral home. Her dad runs the place, so for a free chapel and reception site, they chose the family business. There were dead people downstairs. It is kinda hard to get in the celebratory mood when you don’t go to the ceremony itself, and even more so when you know that corpses are within one hundred feet of anywhere you can get food or drink.

The service today was amazing. Perry brought it really hard about being ready to take communion. He challenged my view of God and how I treat him when it comes to traditions and rituals that the church has adopted over the centuries. I must not take his grace for granted, and I cannot mock him. I have to be straight forward with God every time I approach him. I can neither fool him, nor disrespect him without reaping what I sow. I need to stop treating God like his goodness and faithfulness depends on my time with him or how I feel about life.

This part of my life is one big decision. Of course, it entails a lot of smaller decisions, but it is one big step toward the rest of my life. That sounds trite and cliche, but it is reality. What I choose to do and the attitude with which I choose to do it determine a large part of how all of this will play out. God will get glory in spite of how I choose to act and react, but how much better to point to him willingly the whole time so as to catch the hem of him robe as he passes by and experience some of that glory. He invites me to participate in the goodness of his plans for my life. It would be like trying to fight a current in the ocean, after a short while, my work against the force will wear out and the progress I thought I was making against it will become evident for its futility. How much more rewarding to allow the current to push me and make my efforts seem all the more worthwhile. Then, the ocean can get credit for where I am and not me.

Wednesday

Today was awesome.  I not only got to do some brainstorming/planning, but I also got to lead my small group again.  I think we might meet on Monday nights at C-F-A to hang out and talk.  That would be awesome.  During the brainstorming session I helped Allen come up with some ideas for service projects to do around Anderson for the home group service day.  Allen and I think a lot alike and work well together.  We talked about our styles of work and how I believe that I am an adaptive worker.  I can be chameleon-like and pick up on styles of personality and work habits.  I don’t know if this comes from being a middle child, or from my personality type not being strong in any direction, but is relatively balanced in every temperament.

The service tonight was really good.  I think that there were plenty of places where the students were lost because there were some moments that went by too quickly.  But, that is why we have small groups.  To go deeper and explain messages to students during the event.  After the event, however, the small group is to be a way to connect with students and keep them coming back to the ministry.  It is a way for students to work through their faith and issues in their lives.  I hope that I will be around this ministry long enough to have moments like that with my guys.

After the service tonight, I was invited to go have dinner with one of the families that volunteers with the ministry.  We had a healthy lasagna (whole wheat noodles, low-fat cheese, artichokes, spinach and sun-dried tomatoes).  Very yummy.  Tim and Paula helped me talk through some options for where to look for work.  I really hope that I can find something soon.  I will miss the people and ministry terribly, but not my will but God’s.  Tough to say.

Tough lesson

Today was interesting. I attended a meeting with my staff and felt a slight attack on me during the process. I was bombarded with feelings of disconnect, inadequacy and unfulfillment. I talked to Brad about it so that if there were any changes I needed to make, I could have a heads up as to what direction I needed to take to get there. What he had to say was helpful, for sure. My role in the meetings, as a part time staff member is less of a contribution to what we will do and more of a filter as to what not to do. I have a reaction-based role in the creation of excellence. As much as I enjoy brain-storming and creating solutions, I also have the ability to think outside the box for critique. I did not originally see that as a benefit or strength, but after being informed of its value, I can now appreciate and continue in the process with less tendency to give in to attacks.

We also discussed how I really enjoy being able to be a little more ahead of the planning process to not only brainstorm, but also to study so that whoever is speaking doesn’t have to go through an entire body of work, but have an efficient summary of points to build from. This could be studying the Bible in-depth, or other scholarly works or podcasts. I have recently taken up a love for reading a lot of material. This reading has been very beneficial to me in a variety of ways. Not only has it taken me through large portions of the Bible that I haven’t read in a long time, but also has helped me finish several books that I had left on the shelves.

Relationships

Today was filled with relationships. It started out with a breakfast with Gill and Caleb, where we shared vision and dreams, ideas and fears. It was awesome. Plus, Gill cooked some omelets for us that were amazing. We were able to encourage and pray for each other. We discussed how too many people who love Jesus live in too many shallow relationships. You go places to be seen and ask superficial questions about each others’ lives, without taking into account who God has placed in your path and what he may want to do in and through that relationship.

Then, I was able to go have lunch with four of my small group guys at Zaxby’s. Brandon, the intern came along as well. It was a lot of fun and we got to tell some crazy stories. It was awesome to be able to connect with the guys and to see them respond to me as their leader. I hope that I will continue to pour into their lives as I lead the small group. It was good to hang out with Brandon again, I think he has tremendous potential and a real passion for missions. We talked about going to Africa and what organizations to look into. I can’t wait to see what God does in his life.

Then, after lunch, I was able to meet with Jake and ask him some questions about relationships and life. He is so amazing and encouraging. He always knows the kind of advice that I need and doesn’t mind asking tough questions. I appreciate all of the help that he has been to me through the last five months. He told me that any future relationships I pursue need to not be based on my tendency to be idealistic and romantic, but on reality and appropriateness. I put a picture in my mind of what would by amazing and then try to make it happen whether the relationship is ready for it or not. I must guard my heart and her heart from me taking the reigns of the relationship. I must wait on and be inspired by God for success in any relationship.

Next I had the chance to catch up with one of my old roommates and talk to him about relationships and work and life. It is always a pleasure to talk with him because he is so humble. He makes you feel like you are such an outstanding person, but the whole time you realize that he is amazing as well. He has a bunch of potential as well. His heart is sensitive to others’ needs and he has a penchant for serving people. I love to be around him. I hope his time in the army goes well and that he doesn’t lose sight of God’s direction for him in the middle of all the other orders.

I called Dad on the way from the old house to my apartment and asked him about what he thought about my relational readiness. He asked some tough questions about healing and moving on from the past. It was good to talk to him and have to explain it out loud instead of just letting things bounce around in my head. I may have to move home if I can’t find a job that can take care of my bills and such. This has an upside and a downside. Cheaper living, being near the family and getting a chance to relax for a little while are great things, however, I would miss the church and my friends and miss a potential relationship. I don’t really know what to do, but I know that God has my life under control. I just have to trust him and keep looking for his hand’s movements.

Home group was great tonight because we were able to be really candid. Struggles were discussed and we shared encouragement and prayer for each other. It was refreshing.

I finished the night with a friendly phone call. It was a fantastic day, all in all.

Church

Today was interesting. Back on Wednesday I helped record audio for a voice-over where I read the parable of the talents, which was to open the main service today. It only aired during the first service because the style did not match that of Joe’s. He preached about… finances. Surprise, surprise. Joe always brings the heat when he talks about money. He talked about honoring God with all that he has given me. God not only cares about the 10% that he asks us for, but also the 90% we are to continue to manage for him. Everything in the world belongs to God, so we might as well honor him with it. Joe’s passion is contagious, and I really appreciate the genuine care he displays for all of the people that come to receive counseling from him. I also received two free meals today. Plus one for tomorrow if you count leftovers. God has been so good to me lately with people offering to purchase meals for me. Praise Him! Also, God has given me a little direction recently and I intend to talk with Jake tomorrow at the office about that direction.

Hopefully I will be able to have lunch with some of my small group guys tomorrow. They have the day off of school for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

Speaking of which, I admire the persistence and vision of that man. Say what you want about his reputation or his tactics, he is undeniably one of the most influential men of the twentieth century in America. I can only hope that through social change, and spiritual change (mostly) that his dream of people loving others regardless of how the look, speak or live will come to a sort of Jesus-centered fruition.

Snow

Today it is supposed to snow from noon until 8pm.  This could be a really crazy/fun day.  I am also supposed to go to a wedding tonight with my friend, whom I enjoy a bunch.  This would be the second snow in four days and I don’t know if South Carolina is ready for this.  It is such an uncommon thing for us to have one good snow, much less two snows of any kind.

Last night I got to hang out with some really cool folks while one of my friends played some cover songs at a bagel joint.  It was pretty fun, and while talking with one of the employees, we discussed maybe trying to take an all guys road trip up to Manhattan and hit some other cities on the way.  Like, take a week or 10 days and just go have fun.  I have never been to New York, and would love to visit.  I hear there is a lot to do, and the local food is amazing.  So, maybe in the next year or so I will be able to pull that off.

I watched Be Cool last night with some of the guys from the bagel joint and had forgotten how many funny lines and ironies were jammed into the flick.

Sleepover

I was treated to a wonderful meal by one of the families that volunteers with the student ministry.  During the meal, I invited their second son to come over and hang out.  It gets a little lonesome these days with both of my roommates gone.  So, we just played Call of Duty 4 and now he is playing Halo 3.  COD4 is amazing.  The environments are sick and the game is really tough.  I guess it is only tough because I am not very good at shooting games.

The service tonight was awesome.  Brad brought it strong about the fall of man and our need for a hero (Jesus) to rescue us from the oppressive forces of sin.  The series we are doing right now is EPIC, a seven week look at the entire Bible.  It is going to be outstanding.  I got to lead a small group again this week, and I realized how much I missed teaching the students and pouring into them.  I am going to try and set a great example for the volunteers by how I lead my group.  If I am not willing to invest like we ask our leaders to, then I cannot expect them to fulfill any of the commitments.  Also, I had to go buy 501 apples for the illustration.  The lady at the register almost refused to ring us up because she had no clue how to scan boxes without codes.  It was pretty funny.

It is snowing right now.  What the junk?!  It only snows once every other year.  This is awesome.  I got to throw some snowballs before coming in for the night.  Good times.  I hope that it sticks around a little bit tomorrow, that way I can go play in it more.