Tastey.

I have to admit, when it comes to spending money, I don’t know if my choices make sense, in fact, they probably seem non-sequitor to many people.  I am currently trying to save money and build up my 401k, as well as learn how to actually live on a budget that I have set for myself many times.

The condundrum occurs when it comes to buying stuff that is not essential – blow money kind of stuff.  It seems that I have a far easier time justifying purchasing a nice bottle of wine than a nice pair of jeans.  I know that the wine will be very tastey, but it will only last as up to three days once opened.  The jeans, however, could last for years.  I found myself saying “there is no way I would pay $60 or more for a pair of jeans… they’re just jeans.”  Right after that I went and purchased a more expensive bottle of wine because “I know it will be amazing and it is also an investment if I ever decide to sell it.”  That is true, it could be an investment, but it isn’t if I end up drinking it.  Which will probably happen, seeing as how the last time I had some of that vinyard’s produce it was the best I had ever tasted.

It’s just a shame that jeans don’t taste as good as wine.

You’re OUT!

When you hear that phrase you know automatically that the person was not safe.  It could have been any number of circumstances during the game that has lead to that interjection.  The point is, I think this is in contradiction to real life.  I think you are “safe” when you stay in the batter’s box.  You don’t venture out of where you know you can do your thing.  You are dangerous when you are running the bases, and even more dangerous and less safe when you are on the bases.  When you are in the spot where God is leading you to do the ministry that he has called you to is a dangerous place to be.

Recently,I had a really tough and enlightening conversation with Joel on a trip to see his family and friends.  I have felt for a long time like God has built me for something great.  I have no clue what that means or what it will look like when that “great” thing happens.  I do know that my Mom has been telling me that she believes that for a long time (like every kid, I don’t know how seriously to take things my parents tell me. Not that I expect them to lie to me, but that  they might biasedly try to build me up even contrary to reality).  I realized that what I thought would be a good idea for life and ministry was actually just a safe way to live.

I think it would be really cool to do some sort of coaching or consulting for other leaders.  I believe that God has given me a measure of wisdom and the desire to encourage people to reach their full potential.  I love seeing potential and pouring into it.  I really like the idea of partnering with people who want to change the world.  I think it is a worth-while investment.  Having said all that, I realized that being an advisor/consultant/coach is a very safe way to do life/ministry if God has built me to be a leader.  I risk nothing by telling other people what I would do in their shoes.  That is actually pretty weak.

So I now get to learn how to be the leader that God has built me to be and I know that what I am experiencing now is definitely preparing me for whatever is to come.

Don’t underestimate the power of transperency/communication

Recently I realized that I have been under a lot of stress, mostly stemming from a combination of work, volunteering and moving.  I have had a lot of new stresses corresponding with the level of repsonsibilities that have been added to my life over the last two months.  I can already see how God is stretching me and causing me to step out of comfort/safety to actually lead.

I am learning that going ahead and admitting inadequacies and stresses to my co-workers and supervisors right now instead of burning out is a beautiful thing.  It is keeping me honest and humble, while building trust and team spirit.  It is always surprising to see how other people are ready and willing to step up and help shoulder weight when you actually ask for it instead of telling people from a position of power.  It seems like people respond better to an explanation and a request than an unclear/unexplained demand.  While that may seem like common sense, I think the natural tendency for leaders is to protect our position by keeping people at a distance and making them do what we wish instead of inviting them to be a part of what we all know needs to get done.

I have had two really amazing conversations that have really helped to lighten the stresses with my co-workers and student ministry folks.

Manage THIS!

In a surprise move, I was asked to step up into a managerial position at my job not too long ago.  I took the position after much prayer and consideration last Monday.  I have no clue what I am doing, but my boss is very gracious and patient with me.

I am beginning to realize that the position is a job in and of itself, it is not just added responsibility.  I have spent more time over the last week in meetings and fielding questions than with any other leadership role I have had so far.  It has been great, and challenging, but will take some time to really understand what I am supposed to do.

I find that I work well with a defined role, and a clear set of expectations.  This not only pushes me to meet requirements, but also gives me an edge to where I can safely explore options and alternative methods.  I like to see where I need to be, complete it, then move on to challenge myself and my supervisor’s expectations.  There seems to be something inside of me that wants to go above and beyond, just to see if I can do it.

I realized this morning that I need to make sure that between my full-time position at Frontier Label and volunteering with student ministry that I need to make sure that both of my supervisors have given me enough direction and have set clear enough expectations so that I can move forward with purpose and not get bogged down in juggling unspoken tasks/demands.  It hit me like a ton of bricks this morning.  Kind of crazy.