Back Breaking

I work out with a guy who is… how shall I say… a beast.  He crafts these amazing and ridiculous workouts for a few of us from work to kill ourselves with.  When we first started working out he told me that there is a decent portion of working out that is mental.  I didn’t know what that meant exactly, but today confirmed it.

This occurred in two differing ways.  The first was when the guys were setting up the weight to be lifted, they started putting a lot more on than I thought I could ever move.  I told them, half joking that I was gonna have to work out on a different aparatus, because of the low amount of weight I was expecting to lift.  They convinced me that because of the way we were lifting, the small motion with that big weight wasn’t gonna be a big deal.  So, I tried.  I had never done that exact exercise and did not know what I was capable of.  No preconceived notions of what was normal for me.  WHAT?! I actually lifted with the guys who had been at this for a few years longer than me.  I am slowly turning into a beast.  Not really.  When my mind was set that the weight wasn’t a big deal and I believed it, not just wanted to believe it, my body compensated for the difference.  It didn’t hold itself back in fear of failure or injury.  That was encouraging and awesome.

Exact opposite time.  I was doing an excercise that I knew I was capable of, and I normally don’t know how many reps I am supposed to do when I do my first set.  Jared (the beast) told me after my first set, try and get 10 on this one.  I confidently told him that I got 15 on the last set, so I thought that 10 would be no problem.  Then I said “now watch me struggle to get ten now that I know how many I am supposed to do.”  That is exactly what happened.  I was limited on that set to not quite reaching 10 reps.

I really believe that the mind is a very powerful tool and that God has made us with the ability to go beyond what we are normally capable of when we believe legitimately that we can do what we are called to.  Just like when I stepped up with no assumptions to the rack pulls, if I believe that what I am doing is well within normalcy and have no idea what is required of me, I can thrive.  When I put requirements and limits on myself, I will almost always fall short of them.  I believe this is part of the beauty of salvation.  The laws are gone, the requirements are not stated.  Simply: Imitate Christ.  Lift the weight.  Know that what is inside of you is made to do that work that you are called to, believe that you are called to it and don’t allow limits and requirements to drag you down.  In the Old Testament, limits were put on people and sin abounded.  In the New Testament, freedom from limits is given and grace abounds.

Freedom in Christ.

Volunteering Questions for Ministry Best Fit Placement

Here is a battery of questions that I came up with over a year ago that I just found.  I thought it may have come in handy for someone who wanted to figure out what kind of ministry in which to help and invest.

Mark the answer that best indicates your feelings or thought patterns in the given situations.

1.     If I saw a middle or high school student sitting alone at the mall, looking sad, I would:

I am too shy to approach strangers like that.
Stop to talk.
Invite them to church.
Ask them if you can pray for them.
(to see if the person would fit well on a care team or with student ministry)

2.     In order to relax and recharge, I most often:

Spend time by myself (reading or reflecting)
Get together with friends to play games
Get together with friends to talk
Make or fix something
Take a nap
(to see if the person could work in the office or with a small group ministry or a technical team)

3.     When I am around other people, I most often:

Am asked for advice or listen to what is going on in people’s lives
Make things happen, make plans or give instructions
Talk about the latest technology/exhibit the latest technology
Make sure everyone is comfortable or having fun
(to see if someone would be on a hospitality team, a point person in a ministry, care team or tech team)

4.     In order to feel successful, I need:

Someone to congratulate me
Just to feel that I gave my best
To see a finished product
To see how the product affects people
(to see how a person would need to be affirmed inside ministry to ensure valuing of contribution)

5.                My feelings toward children younger than five is:

If they can’t talk to me I don’t want to bother with them.
They are God’s greatest gift to earth.
I don’t mind them, but they tire me out easily.
I like to play with them, but I don’t want to change diapers.
(to see how the person would do with working with very young child, helps determine age preference)

6.                The thing that I appreciate most about _________ Chruch is:

(this would be a fill in the blank section to determine what sticks out to them and what matters to them)

7.                What would you immediately improve about ________ Church if you had the opportunity?

(another fill in the blank along the same lines, but allows for more specific motivation) 

8.                I would feel best utilized by helping ________ Church:

Keeping people informed.
Keeping people safe.
Helping people get to where they need to be.
Helping make the service happen.
Helping people understand the truth of Jesus’ love.
(this gives a general direction for volunteering beyond just child and student ministry)

9.                If I saw a person who was attending ________ Chruch that has special needs, I would:

Try to find someone who would help them enjoy a suitable environment for the service.
Help the person enjoy the service to the best of my ability.
Tell the volunteer coordinator about it so that next week they can be taken care of.
Let the security team know in case something happened while the person was here.
I don’t know that it is something that should be worried about.
(to see if the person would work well with special needs)

10.           There are hand prints on a window on the balcony floor.  What next?

It’s not a big deal, they are cleaned during the week.
Level 5 emergency, hand me some Windex©!
There is probably someone else who will get to it.
I wouldn’t mind cleaning up someone else’s mess if I knew it would lead to someone accepting Christ.
(to see if the person would work well with the cleaning team)

11.           It is very important to me that _______ is flawless.

The media on the screens during the service
The website, NewSpring.cc.
The presentation or environment in the Atrium
The presentation or environment in the children’s or student’s areas
These kind of things do not catch my attention
(to see if the person is passionate about a technical or theatrical side of serving)

12.           My skills do not fit a Sunday service, but would be of more use at a function like:

A work day to repair a house
Baby sitting so that a single mom could get some errands run
Changing oil or doing other minor car work
Organizing and managing equipment or supplies for efficiency
(to see if there is a different or better fit for the person)

13.    Then have a section about time commitment and abilities the pertain to each ministry.

14.    Then have a list of ministries and which questions apply to them.

15.    Then have a section to score yourself and write down your top 3 ministry fits.

Sticks and Stones

From 7/24/07

All words are like sticks and stones.

Good uses of sticks and stones might be to build a castle (security), build a bridge (community) or provide stepping stones (encouragement).  Bad uses of sticks and stones might be to create a battering ram (criticism), build a wall (discord) or break a bone (malign).

When you see someone stepping into the unknown, you can help or hurt them.

Put a stone foundation and wood supports to brace and stabilize a launching point.  Throw stones out for them to step on and land safely.

Or, throw sticks and stones at them to give them bruises and splinters for the journey, put stones in their path to slow them down, or pull support out from underneath them.

What am I doing with  my words?  Am I building up or tearing down those around me?  Will people look at me after a journey and say “I would not have made it if it weren’t for you,” or will they say “I can’t believe that I made it in spite of you.”

Mental Real Estate

I guess I started using the term mental real estate about four years ago in reference to the space I give someone or something in my mind.  Some times that is a good thing.  Other times it is a drag.  The thing about mental real estate is that it takes a long time to find another buyer after I have stopped investing in a certain piece of property.  Like for instance, classes that I took in college that I don’t care about anymore, or someone I used to have a pretty big crush on.  Maybe it is something that I desperately want to resell as quickly as possible, whether I intentionally sold the space, or something forced itself as a squatter.  For some people, it could be how they were abused by a parent or significant other.  For me, it could be anything that I no longer wish to have as a part of my memory system, like when I was a JV cheerleader for Clemson.

I know that for anyone who wants to resell the space, time is a slow mover.  It always takes time for any adjustments to occur.  The best way to sell a house is to get into a buyer-flooded market.  Likewise with a mental space, put as many things into your head that are beneficial and worthwhile as possible to change what is kept in that real estate.

Really, half the battle is based in preemptive selling, where I focus on things of God (Philippians 4:8) so that I don’t need to replace them some day.  The other half of the battle is knowing that who we are is partially made up of where we have been.  To get rid of everything that hurt us or is no longer of use would be to deny that the experience occurred and that God could not use it to shape us or someone around us.  God is good enough to use our shadowy, overgrown, condemned real estate for his own glory.

Praise God for grace.

Relationships

Today was filled with relationships. It started out with a breakfast with Gill and Caleb, where we shared vision and dreams, ideas and fears. It was awesome. Plus, Gill cooked some omelets for us that were amazing. We were able to encourage and pray for each other. We discussed how too many people who love Jesus live in too many shallow relationships. You go places to be seen and ask superficial questions about each others’ lives, without taking into account who God has placed in your path and what he may want to do in and through that relationship.

Then, I was able to go have lunch with four of my small group guys at Zaxby’s. Brandon, the intern came along as well. It was a lot of fun and we got to tell some crazy stories. It was awesome to be able to connect with the guys and to see them respond to me as their leader. I hope that I will continue to pour into their lives as I lead the small group. It was good to hang out with Brandon again, I think he has tremendous potential and a real passion for missions. We talked about going to Africa and what organizations to look into. I can’t wait to see what God does in his life.

Then, after lunch, I was able to meet with Jake and ask him some questions about relationships and life. He is so amazing and encouraging. He always knows the kind of advice that I need and doesn’t mind asking tough questions. I appreciate all of the help that he has been to me through the last five months. He told me that any future relationships I pursue need to not be based on my tendency to be idealistic and romantic, but on reality and appropriateness. I put a picture in my mind of what would by amazing and then try to make it happen whether the relationship is ready for it or not. I must guard my heart and her heart from me taking the reigns of the relationship. I must wait on and be inspired by God for success in any relationship.

Next I had the chance to catch up with one of my old roommates and talk to him about relationships and work and life. It is always a pleasure to talk with him because he is so humble. He makes you feel like you are such an outstanding person, but the whole time you realize that he is amazing as well. He has a bunch of potential as well. His heart is sensitive to others’ needs and he has a penchant for serving people. I love to be around him. I hope his time in the army goes well and that he doesn’t lose sight of God’s direction for him in the middle of all the other orders.

I called Dad on the way from the old house to my apartment and asked him about what he thought about my relational readiness. He asked some tough questions about healing and moving on from the past. It was good to talk to him and have to explain it out loud instead of just letting things bounce around in my head. I may have to move home if I can’t find a job that can take care of my bills and such. This has an upside and a downside. Cheaper living, being near the family and getting a chance to relax for a little while are great things, however, I would miss the church and my friends and miss a potential relationship. I don’t really know what to do, but I know that God has my life under control. I just have to trust him and keep looking for his hand’s movements.

Home group was great tonight because we were able to be really candid. Struggles were discussed and we shared encouragement and prayer for each other. It was refreshing.

I finished the night with a friendly phone call. It was a fantastic day, all in all.

Emissions

Today a warning light came on in my car.  It said:  EMISSIONS WORKSHOP!  Quite possibly the best warning indicator I have ever seen.  I have a warranty on my car for another year and nine months, so hopefully this will be covered.  I am running dangerously low on funds, and I don’t know how I will pay for any repairs if they are not covered.  I am learning to trust God.  I know that he has all of the money in the universe, because he created it.  I also know that he is a great father and would not want his child to needlessly go without.  It is times like these when I wonder what God is doing in my life.  There are some circumstances that you have absolutely no control over, like a roommate walking out on you without paying rent, right when you need the money so you can buy your family Christmas presents, or pay the bills next month.  This is my current situation.  It would be really easy to get mad at God and blame him for what is going wrong in my life.  Just in the nick of time, I start reading this book, which I have already mentioned, and I read a part today about reframing my mind.  I need to stop looking at how big my problem is, but instead awe at how enormous God is.  I should not focus on what is wrong, complaining, but focus on and worship him for what is right.  If I can make a habit out of that kind of thinking, I will not only be a more joyful person, but I will be more fun to be around no matter what is going on.  If I can encourage people by going through hard times, then I am and have been more than happy to go through them.  I have very limited experience in life, and even less experience with true tribulations.  I know that my life will bring them eventually, I can only hope that I conduct myself in a manner worthy of my calling and to both glorify and enjoy God in the process.

I guess all of that ties into the stresses of looking for a job and not feeling like the search is going anywhere.  I have applied to several places and have not heard back from them.  I have been to several meetings recently that seemed promising at the beginning and have ended up being discouraging in the end.  No one has work for a guy like me right now.  My skill set and talents don’t easily lend themselves to very many jobs.  To top that off, I have no idea what jobs to look into.  I have been begging God to show me something, anything.  I just need some direction.  I need a hint or a first step.  And to beat all that, I am still having a hard time shaking off the feelings that I had for my ex-fiance.   Four and a half months later, and I still don’t know what to do.  I pray for her regularly, that God would heal and love her.  That he would give her direction.  I just want what is best for both of us in the most selfless way possible.  I want us both to fall even more in love with Jesus than we already are and rely on him alone for completeness and satisfaction.  I have no idea who I will end up marrying (hopefully marrying), but I know that based on how amazing parts of my old relationship were, that I will probably go out of my mind with how awesome that person’s love will be.

Movies and life

I am about to watch the movie 3:10 to Yuma.  I am pretty jazzed about it.  I haven’t seen a good western in a very long time.  Not since the “Trinity” series.  Nothing like a spaghetti western that has nothing to offer beyond poor writing and poor special effects.  They are kinda funny though.  Not like “Blazing Saddles” funny, but pretty good nonetheless.  I borrowed the book “In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day” today.  It was recommended by my former supervisor.  I really miss working with the staff that I started with.  Not to say that the new staff isn’t just as awesome.  It is just not a comfortable.  I guess that is how it goes in life.  I am sure that with time, a few more months, things will be more fluid and efficient.  I am the kink in the chain.  I was added to an already functioning staff, and hopefully will be able to do the adjusting well.  I know that the changes are good, because the quality of the service we are now able to offer the students is no less than triple what it was in September.  The new series we are about to begin is going to be wonderful.  I think it will really challenge the students to dive into reading the Bible and chase after knowing God.  That is a really exciting prospect!  I got to talk with Paul on the phone tonight and challenge him, as well as encourage him.  His birthday was yesterday and he turned 26.  Dang, we are getting old.  I’m closing in on halfway to 50.  I need to find a wife, have some kids and get them through school by then.  I have my work cut out for me.  Well, I guess that is it for today.